1. Have a pity party. It's Halloween, and it appears to be a gorgeous, warmly autumnal day, but you can't go outside. Well, you could go outside, but you'd have to make sure none of your child-ridden neighbors approaches you because you can't go near their children. Pregnant women are a no-no, too.
2. Try to play on Facebook, only to discover that, as it has been since yesterday, it's still broken. Every time you try to use it for any of its regular Facebooky wondrousness, you get booted out and have to attempt to log in anywhere from one to four times.
3. Eat cheese. To eat cheese, you must acquire it from the out-of-doors. Have you acquired cheese from the out-of-doors? If no, whine because you have no cheese and wonder how you can get cheese delivered. If you do have cheese, eat it!!
3.B. For fun, create a recipe for radioactive cheese.
3.B.1. Recipe for Radioactive Cheese
1 portion Seal Bay Tasmanian Cheese
1 plastic spoon
Place Seal Bay Tasmanian Cheese (from HEAVEN) on plate. With plastic spoon in right hand, scoop out small portion of cheese. Raise spoon to mouth and lick spoon. Repeat until only one half of the original portion of cheese remains. Your remaining cheese is now radioactive cheese.
This is a versatile recipe that works on anything you can think of to mix with your radioactive saliva!
4. Realize that the Internet can't change your life.
5. Think about cleaning up the apartment, which could be featured on one of those news stories (AP Brooklyn, NY - Police today seized a basenji/pit mix dog named Sara when they realized her people were major fucking slobs, despite the dog's protests that the vacuum really only makes her worried and she's better off without it), and then realize you actually probably shouldn't clean because you should touch only whatever you have to touch.
5.B. Worry that you are making your computer radioactive, despite the latex gloves you're using.
6. Have another pity party because you REALLY miss your dog, even though she is loving life at her grandparents' house.
7. Obsess about work.
8. Do some writing.
9. Shower, while worrying that you are nuking the neighbors.
10. Restart your computer again. Try Facebook again. Curse Facebook again. Cry. Hate.
11. Think about the following: meditation, writing, reading, watching a good movie.
12. Drink.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Insert complaining here.
My friend asked me in an email whether this blog had outlived its usefulness (yes, D., you) and I realized that I'd forgotten to update it with all the latest gossip. See, what happened, in case it wasn't clear, was that I went back to work after my hospitalization(s). And work laser-gunned my brain and I forgot I had a blog.
Here is the latest, then.
I have been on a low iodine diet for a couple of weeks. On Monday and Tuesday mornings, I go to the hospital to get Thyrogen injections, to stimulate the thyroid cells still hanging around in my body (I imagine they are old, Jewish women, with dyed hair and cigarettes... they are hanging around my body and gossiping... What will they do when stimulated? Will they scream "Oy, I've nevah BEEN so STIMULATED!!" Because that's what old, smoking ladies do, isn't it?).
On Wednesday morning, they admit me to the hospital for the radioactive iodine scan - and I guess the ablation - itself. They'll look for those old lady thyroid cells, and then whoever sucks up the iodine because she's stimulated is going to get hit with the radioactive stuff. I'll be in the hospital for a few days.
Because life isn't simple, on the way to another doctor on Monday, I fell down a few stairs in the subway station. I messed up my neck so badly, every day is an adventure in neck-lockery. What's worse is that I'm such a stress-case, I work all day and then only sleep half the night, waking up with my neck even more torqued then it was the night before. At this point, I can't turn my head. I don't even have my laptop here at home, so I will have to go to work this morning, range of motion or no.
At least next Wednesday I'll get an enforced two or three day vacation in the hospital. Sure, the food will be crap. Sure, the days will be boring (I don't even think I can bring electronics, for fear I'll irradiate them with my hot self)... but when I'm lying in bed at 3 a.m. and thinking about work, and my neck locks up because I had the audacity to move my head, at least I'll know I'm just a call button away from... an unnecessary spinal MRI.
Here is the latest, then.
I have been on a low iodine diet for a couple of weeks. On Monday and Tuesday mornings, I go to the hospital to get Thyrogen injections, to stimulate the thyroid cells still hanging around in my body (I imagine they are old, Jewish women, with dyed hair and cigarettes... they are hanging around my body and gossiping... What will they do when stimulated? Will they scream "Oy, I've nevah BEEN so STIMULATED!!" Because that's what old, smoking ladies do, isn't it?).
On Wednesday morning, they admit me to the hospital for the radioactive iodine scan - and I guess the ablation - itself. They'll look for those old lady thyroid cells, and then whoever sucks up the iodine because she's stimulated is going to get hit with the radioactive stuff. I'll be in the hospital for a few days.
Because life isn't simple, on the way to another doctor on Monday, I fell down a few stairs in the subway station. I messed up my neck so badly, every day is an adventure in neck-lockery. What's worse is that I'm such a stress-case, I work all day and then only sleep half the night, waking up with my neck even more torqued then it was the night before. At this point, I can't turn my head. I don't even have my laptop here at home, so I will have to go to work this morning, range of motion or no.
At least next Wednesday I'll get an enforced two or three day vacation in the hospital. Sure, the food will be crap. Sure, the days will be boring (I don't even think I can bring electronics, for fear I'll irradiate them with my hot self)... but when I'm lying in bed at 3 a.m. and thinking about work, and my neck locks up because I had the audacity to move my head, at least I'll know I'm just a call button away from... an unnecessary spinal MRI.
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